Seven Shades of... David James

Damn, it's been too long. Our old favourite 'Seven Shades of...' is back once again and for those of you who weren't around prior to October 2007 when we did this last time around, let us explain.

The premise here is to link two disparate souls from football's illustrious past or present over seven spurious steps. Two people who seemingly couldn't ever be connected but are brought together in this best of all possible worlds courtesy of your old friends here at Some People Are On The Pitch.

It's a service we undertake willingly and completely for your pleasure alone, and with that heartening thought in mind, let's start today's 'Seven Shades' with...

David James

Despite his youthful and ever-changing looks, David James is the elder statesman of the English goalkeeping world at a really-quite-old-for-a-footballer 38 years of age. Now at his sixth league club, his career began way back in 1989 (see, we told you he was old) at the then Third Division Watford.

He stayed their for three years and was a huge hit, even winning the club's Player of the Year award in 1990/91, all of which goes to show that if you start your career at The Hornets, you're probably destined for genuine greatness. The same can be said of

Pat Jennings

The mercurial Northern Ireland goalkeeper who at one time held the record for the most international appearances by any player (119). His last appearance for his country came in the searing heat of Guadalajara during the 1986 World Cup where Northern Ireland lost 3-0 to Brazil - a far cry from his first appearance which occurred back in April 1964 in Swansea.

That was in a British Championship match against Wales which Jennings' side won 3-2. Among the men wearing green shirts that day was another little-known player making his debut who was to make a small name for himself in years to come. His name was

George Best

A man that can be summed up in numerous words such as 'legend' and 'icon' although others such as 'inebriated' and 'womaniser' also apply with considerable relevance. Best played at every conceivable level during his career from the giddy heights of Manchester United to the less glamorous depths of Bournemouth, stopping off at clubs like the LA Aztecs and San Jose Earthquakes in between.

Named by many to be the greatest footballer that ever lived (although ranked only 19th by FIFA in their list of all-time great living footballers in 2004), he's even had an airport in Belfast named after him. It's an honour given to precious few, although

Matt Le Tissier

may find something similar coming his way one day, if he's very lucky. 'Le God', as he was known to many, was the archetypal luxury player, oozing skill and quality from every pore but supposedly lazy in any aspect of his game other than scoring goals. Overlooked for a place in the England team, Terry Venables obviously thought he was dispensable, but to Southampton fans he was just irreplaceable.

Winner of the BBC Match of the Day 'Goal of the Season' competition in 1994/95 and scorer of the last ever goal at The Dell in 2001, Le Tissier is the second highest-scoring Southampton player of all time behind

Mick Channon
who, in his favour, had two spells at the club between 1966 and 1977 and later between 1979 and 1982. His goalscoring rate was second to none with The Saints, almost managing two goals in every three games. Sandwiched in between these two spells with Southampton was a two-year run at Manchester City where he even scored one in every three games there.

While at Man City, Channon played alongside well known names such as Peter Barnes, Colin Bell and Asa Hartford, honing his 'windmill' goal celebration with every passing week. It was also seen many a time when he played for England where he became the 15th highest-scoring player ever, level with his old Southampton team-mate

Kevin Keegan
who, having cemented himself as a Liverpool legend, promptly tried his luck over at Hamburg where he became the European Footballer of the Year twice and won the Bundesliga with his teammates in 1979. In 1980, he just missed out on picking up a European Cup winner's medal when Hamburg lost in the Final 1-0 to Nottingham Forest.

Rather than stay on at Hamburg where he'd have undoubtedly shared top billing with some new fancy-dan arrival by the name of Franz Beckenbauer, Keegan opted for a much more alluring future at Southampton where Lawrie McMenemy wanted him to play alongside stars such as Alan Ball, Mick Channon and

Charlie George
among others. George was the hero of the 1971 Arsenal FA Cup-winning side where he scored the goal which sank Liverpool in the Final that year. One of the key members of the team which won the Double that year, he moved onto Derby in 1975 where he once memorably scored a hat-trick against Real Madrid in a European Cup tie.

His career would see him travel the world to numerous places such as the USA, Hong Kong and even Bournemouth, but by 1983 it was all over. This once great player was left with only memories of the 87 career goals he'd scored on the one hand and the finger he'd once lost in a lawnmower accident on the other. Or not, as the case may be.

All of which brings us full circle with a link from Charlie George to the first name on our list, David James. To play in goal, it's essential at the very least to have all ten fingers, but to be a great player perhaps all you need is a name made up of two first names. Here endeth the lesson.

The Friday List of Little or No Consequence #60

Something for the weekend, sir?
Eight Of The Many And Diverse Hairstyles Adopted by David James

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Who'd be an England goalkeper?

On the eve of tonight's match between England and Croatia, it seems the main story in today's newspapers is that Scott Carson will be given a second chance to play between the sticks following his debut last Friday.

While no-one would deny the former Liverpool man a chance of glory after his poor treatment by Rafa Benitez, it seems Carson will be given the nod mainly on the basis that Paul Robinson can't be relied upon. But isn't it fair to say that most England goalkeepers have at some point been deemed untrustworthy? Does Paul Robinson have some justification in feeling a tad peeved accordingly?

We thought we'd look back down the years at England's Number 1 men to see how well their careers stand up to the ravages of time.

Paul Robinson
Caps: 36; Last match: v Estonia (June 6 2007)
The Leeds and Tottenham man came to the fore during the qualifying campaign for World Cup 2006 and made a good start, keeping numerous clean sheets right through to the finals. Unfortunately for Robinson, his confidence took a massive knock when his massive air shot failed to clear a bobbling Gary Neville back-pass in the match against Croatia in October 206 and things went rapidly downhill thereafter.

In a friendly match against Germany this August, Robinson flapped at a cross that led to Germany getting their first goal of the game and that's when the voices in Steve McClaren's head started to get noticeably louder. Likely to figure in England's future plans, but no longer the automatic first choice he once was.

David James
Appearances: 34; Last cap: v Jamaica (June 3 2006)
Possibly the archetypal accident-prone England goalkeeper of recent times, James has won back the hearts of many of his doubters with some strong performances for Portsmouth this season and last.

Unfortunately he's still prone to the occasional lapse and his performances are still capable of being as variable as his choice of hairstyle. Crosses have often been a problem area for James but he remains a good shot-stopper and on current form is worth having as a reserve option in the England squad, but perhaps no more than that.

David Seaman
Appearances: 75; Last cap: v Macedonia (October 16 2002)
Even 'Safe Hands' Seaman, once held in high esteem among almost all England fans, fell prey to Lady Luck after a career that saw him pick up the second highest number of caps to Peter Shilton. His penalty-saving heroics in Euro 96 saw our moustachioed hero quickly ride a wave of unprecedented popularity but as we're already finding out, pride often comes before a fall, and so it turned out to be…

The World Cup of 2002 saw England face Brazil in the quarter-finals in what should have been a day to remember for Seaman, but alas a long, high, curving cross-come-shot by Ronaldinho caught him napping. The ball looped perfectly over the straggling Seaman and with one shot his credibility had been erased, particularly among the British sports journalists who were only to pleased to pin the blame on any individual they could find. A sad end to the career of a much admired player.

Chris Woods
Appearances: 43; Last cap: v USA (June 9 1993)
Almost a professional understudy to Peter Shilton throughout out his England career, he finally got his chance to shine after Italia '90 when he became first choice 'keeper under Graham Taylor. An often overlooked player in England's history, Woods was highly capable in his role and prided himself on the fitness and agility he gained while at Norwich City and Rangers, amongst others.

Sadly the writing was on the wall for Woods when he was seen to be at fault for Norway's first goal in a qualifier away to Norway in June 1993 and after that he only played one more game wearing the Three Lions. He might also put the blame for his demise on the emergence of DAvid Seaman as a goalkeeping option, but that's just incidental, perhaps.

Ray Clemence
Appearances: 61; Last cap: v Luxembourg (November 16 1983)
The nearest thing you can get to an England goalkeeper that doesn't have a blemish on his record. Clemence, as you probably know, had a constant battle for that yellow jersey with Peter Shilton who was also reaching the peak of his game during the 1970's, and it was his form with Liverpool that got him so many call-ups.

Both Don Revie and Ron Greenwood made use of Clemence's services at a time when England were sadly struggling to qualify for any major tournament, but that was no fault of Clem's. With Liverpool, he got his hands on numerous pieces of silverware and it was ironically one of his Reds team-mates, Kenny Dalglish, that gave Clemence his only real moment of embarrassment when Dalglish slotted the ball through his legs in an England v Scotland match in 1977.

Fortunately for him, it didn't jeopardise his entire career and he went on to play for England for another six years afterwards. Ray Clemence was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2005, the treatment for which has seen him spend time away from his current role as England's goalkeeping coach. We'd like to wish him a full and complete recovery from the condition and hope that England can earn a win tonight in his honour.

Peter Shilton
Appearances: 125; Last cap: v Italy (July 7 1990)
Dear old Peter Shilton. With 125 caps, you'd think he was second to none on the list of all time great England keepers… but it's not quite as simple as that. Shilton's career seemed to get better and worse in equal measures as the years went by. At Leicester City, he gained a reputation for making many a fine and spectacular save and before long he was getting selected for England. Sadly, just as he was getting into his stride after Gordon Banks' retirement, he made arguably his biggest faux pas of all.

During a World Cup qualifier that England had to win against Poland in 1973, Shilton allowed a relatively comfortable shot to squirm beneath him and into the net. Poland went on to win and qualify for the 1974 World Cup, leaving England - and Peter Shilton - considerably red-faced.

Though he went on to have a successful spell at Nottingham Forest during the 1980's, the end of the decade saw Shilton's responses and reflexes start to slow, and this was particularly in evidence during Euro 88 in West Germany. By the time Italia 90 arrived, Shilton's inability to dive quickly and react to dead-ball situations was all too noticeable and even in the Third-Place play-off there was still time for one last calamitous vignette where he lost control of the ball, allowing the Italians to score. A case of a great player being used well past his sell-by date, many would say.

So there you see it - anyone wanting to be an England 'keeper is almost certainly destined to a future of shame and humiliation in one form or another, and we didn't even get to Peter Bonetti. Hopefully tonight Scott Carson can do enough to prove he can buck the trend, but give it a few years and you can be sure he'll be cast on the scrapheap, just like almost all his recent predecessors.

A decent idea worth disconsidering

Here's an interesting idea: Portsmouth goalkeeper David James has this week publicly suggested football players could give money back to the fans if they put in a bad performance. He reasons that all those fans travelling hither and yon across the country watching their teams playing away from home in all weathers deserve some form of financial reimbursement if their team play a stinker.

The idea came to mind as he travelled home on the coach with his team-mates after a heavy defeat away to Blackburn. When put to them, he found they supported the idea more than he realised. Giving money back to the supporter's club would appear to be the way forward, then... but could it work?

The first thing to consider is how to exactly quantify a bad performance. Could a performance be considered bad if a team loses due of a couple of poor goalkeeping errors, or through one or two players being sent off? Could it even be calculated with the use of the comprehensive statistical systems currently employed in the Premiership, each player's rating being reduced because of few tackles being made or low numbers of accurate passes?

One might even consider that a team could under-perform if their coach makes bad tactical decisions or buys a poor player to bolster the squad.

It seems like an idea that's doomed to failure, so is it worth pursuing? Surely if you buy a ticket to a match, you're entering a contract to be entertained but not necessarily to be given a peak performance?

And what if you support a lower-league side? Could you reasonably ask for superlative achievement week in, week out? Some Premiership fans wouldn't, and the only way you could feasilbly demand it is to ensure they're first part of a twelve-team 'Super Premiership' or some such elitist movement.

Maybe punishing players in the pocket would encourage them to pull together in order to play better. It's an old-fashioned system known as 'team work'. The idea is that you avoid playing badly in isolation by employing a dynamic new approach called 'playing well for each other.'

Just a minute - aren't they supposed to do that already? I seem to have lost sight of that small fact, and it pains me to say it but I think David James has too...

Where Are They Now? : David James

Ever wondered what happened to the former goalkeeping maestro that was a collosus for West Ham, Manchester City and England?

Portman and Emma appear to have the answer. It seems the wicked witch at the FA has cast a spell on him, turning him into...