The Christmas Day List of Little or No Consequence #145

Down with the Christmas decorations
The 18 Teams That Have Been Bottom Of The Premier League At Christmas

1. Nottingham Forest (1992–93, finished 22nd - relegated)
2. Swindon Town (1993–94, finished 22nd - relegated)
3. Ipswich Town (1994–95, finished 22nd - relegated)
4. Bolton Wanderers (1995–96, finished 20th - relegated)
5. Nottingham Forest (1996–97, finished 20th - relegated)
6. Barnsley (1997–98, finished 19th - relegated)
7. Nottingham Forest (1998–99, finished 20th - relegated)
8. Sheffield Wednesday (1999–2000, finished 19th - relegated)
9. Bradford City (2000–01, finished 20th - relegated)
10. Leicester City (2001–02, finished 20th - relegated)
11. West Ham United (2002–03, finished 18th - relegated)
12. Wolverhampton Wanderers (2003–04, finished 20th - relegated)
13. West Bromwich Albion (2004–05, finished 17th - stayed up)
14. Sunderland (2005–06, finished 20th - relegated)
15. Watford (2006–07, finished 20th - relegated)
16. Derby County (2007-08, finished 20th - relegated)
17. West Bromwich Albion (2008-09, finished 20th - relegated)
18. Portsmouth (2009-10, finished...?)

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 24

Well here we are then - Day 24 of the SPAOTP Advent Calendar.

As we open the last door, we find a picture showing the three of us - Graham, Terry and myself - following the sign that leads us towards peace, contentment and too much rich food and alcohol this Christmas.

We sincerely hope your yuletide brings you the best of everything that's possible to receive over the next few days and that you find time to be happy, if not downright Merry, with your loved ones.

From all of us here at Some People Are On The Pitch, have a cracking Christmas and we'll see you all again on the other side...

Have fun!

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 21

We're back with five more quiz questions for you today on Day 21 of our Advent Calendar. See how you fair with these - and as ever, the answers will appear at the end of tomorrow's Advent Calendar post.

Question 1:
Who became the second West German club after Bayern Munich to win the European Cup?

Question 2:
What three words complete this well-known advert from The Times: "Man offers marriage for Cup Final ticket. Replies must enclose photo..."?

Question 3:
Which cartoon character gave Arsenal's Dutch international Marc Overmars his nickname?

Question 4:
Which former England striker played cricket for Leicestershire's second team?

Question 5:
Which country's football team appeared on a 1997 Gambian postage stamp?

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 20

It's Day 20 of our Advent Calendar and behind today's door is another of our famous Christmas graphs (famous in our tiny imaginations at least).

It shows the proportion of penalties scored by the home and away teams in all Premier League matches so far in the 2009/10 season (including the two scored today in the match between West Ham and Chelsea).

And before you ask, Man United's two at home this season make up only 4% of the 45 tucked away by all teams home and away thus far.

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 19

As it's the weekend, we thought we'd go easy on you by providing a musical interlude by which to relax and be peaceful. Rather than going out shopping for last minute Christmas presents, for instance.

So here's a song which is short on festive appeal but strong on football influences, but we don't suppose you'll mind. Here's 'The Referee's Alphabet' by Half Man Half Biscuit, as inspired by a blog post from our good friend at TwoFootedTackle, Gary Andrews.

Enjoy...

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 18

With just one week to go to the big day, we've got something to tax your brain cells over the festive season in the shape of SPAOTP's Big Advent Calendar Crossword!

All you need do is click on the grid below to expand it to it's full size, print it out, then fill it in with the answers that fit the clues we'll be giving you below - just like any normal crossword.

But here's the added bonus: if you take the correct letters that go in the yellow squares marked, then rearrange them, you should get a Christmas-related word. Send that word to us at info [at] spaotp [dot] com before midnight on December 31st 2009 (and, indeed, before anyone else does so before you) and you could win a Some People Are On The Pitch t-shirt! It's that simple!

So here's the grid, then below it comes the clues. Best of luck!

(Answers to appear on SPAOTP on January 1st 2010)



ACROSS

1 Team that plays at Qwest Field (7,8)
7 Grzegorz, top scorer at the 1974 World Cup (4)
9 See 8 Down (3)
11 Kevin Keegan and Kenny Dalglish were famous ones (4)
13 Tiger Woods idea of a football team (4)
14 The Red Diamonds of Japan (5)
15 Stephen Fry's favoured team (7)
17 Neil, former Morton, West Ham and Hibernian midfielder (3)
19 Giovanni, coach of the 1985 Juventus European Cup-winning side (10)
24 Bruce, former coach of the USMNT (5)
25 Brazilian controversially dropped, then reinstated for the 1998 World Cup Final (7)
26 Niko, one of two Croatians at Tottenham (8)
31 England's top scorer at Mexico '86 (7)
33 Man City striker famed for his rapport with visiting Arsenal fans (8)
34 Fernando, current Anfield favourite (6)

DOWN

1 Home of The Eagles, London (8,4)
2 Number of times Derby County have been league champions (3)
3 The Grecians (6)
4 Score at the wrong end of the pitch (abbreviated) (2)
5 Watney Cup winners 1970 (5)
6 What you get for being sent off (3,4)
8 (and 9 across) NASL team from Jacksonville (3)
10 Ivica, Bayern's Croatian striker (4)
12 Tele, Brazilian coach of the 1982 and 1986 World Cup squads (7)
16 FIFA's international abbreviation for Ali Daei's team (3)
18 West Germany's 'Bomber' that always handed out a right Mullering (4)
20 Stadium where Bayern seek Allianz with their opponents (5)
21 Nickname of Weymouth FC, 'The ...' (6)
22 Asian Cup champions 2007 (4)
23 In the same 2010 World Cup group as Spain, Switzerland and Chile (8)
27 Van Nistelrooy or Gullit, perhaps? (4)
28 Man City striker, cuurently on loan with Everton (2)
29 Bearzot, coach of Italy's 1982 World Cup-winning team (4)
30 Casillas, goalkeeper of the Spanish national team (4)
32 Last season's Danish Superliga runners-up (2)

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 17

It's Day 17 of our SPAOTP Advent Calendar and that means there's only one more week of this merriment and jollity remaining.

Before you slip into a depressive torpor at the very thought that these happy days will soon be over, let's distract you with another of our caption competitions.

You know what to do by now, but if you don't, either work it out yourself or ask a grown-up for some help.

Sound Of Football Extra! Football Disaster Movie: An Onion Bag Christmas Podcast.

The Sound Of Football is delighted to present to you Football Disaster Movie: An Onion Bag Christmas Podcast.

Burt "Two Phones" Anderson is a top transfer newshound for Sky Sports. On the night before Christmas he discovers that his only reliable source of insider information (the mysterious crackpot scientist Dr Julius Limbani) has dried up and is predicting the end of the World... of Football that is.

Determined to find out the truth, Burt seeks out Limbani and uncovers a terrifying (and hopefully very funny) chain of events that could lead to catastrophe...

The podcast is written by the Sound Of Football's very own Terry Duffelen & Graham Sibley from The Onion Bag and features their own vocal "talents". The narrator is Chris Oakley our resident anchor from Some People Are On The Pitch. The podcast also features some very special guests.

The music and sound effects were obtained from the good people of Partners In Rhyme and PacDV Free Sound Effects.

You can listen or download the podcast here. Alternatively, if you subscribe to the Sound Of Football, then it will be appearing in your reader of choice 'ere long.

We hope you enjoy the production and would be grateful for any feedback you can give in the comments section below. Please be aware that this podcast does contain the odd naughty word or three.

The Sound Of Football Podcast will return on Monday.

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 14

On the 14th day of Christmas, SPAOTP gave to you... a special gift to help you while away those boringly unending Champions League games on ITV!

Yes, today we bring you a free gift in the form of our ITV Football Bingo Cards. Simply click on the image below, print and cut out the bingo cards, then distribute them amongst yourselves and your family whenever you hear the distant dulcet tones of Clive Tyldesley and Jim Beglin.

The rules are simple. Whenever you hear one of the phrases on your bingo card called out, cross it out. Whoever crosses out all their phrases first wins the game, and if anyone crosses all their phrases within, ooh, 27 minutes, they win a special prize. We don't know what it is, let alone whether it even exists at all, but it's nice to embellish these things to make them sound more interesting.

Enjoy...

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 13

For Day 13 of the almost-certainly-by-now-famous SPAOTP Advent Calendar, we give you a pictorial representation of the Premier League teams that have received the most yellow cards so far this season (prior to December 13th 2009).

If you have any ideas for items you'd like us to feature in the calendar, you're more than welcome to send them to us. Either drop us a line at info@spaotp.com or else leave your message on a comment if you're not fussed about the rest of the world knowing about it before their time.

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 12

Can you believe we're already half-way through our Advent Calendar?

Yes, today is Day 12, and for that we bring you a video clip encapsulating those two things that are essential for any great Christmas - football and Morecambe & Wise.

Below this great old TV ad for Atari you'll find the answers to yesterday's quiz questions.



Answers to Day 11 Quiz:

1) Jimmy Greaves
2) Sheffield United
3) The Jules Rimet Trophy
4) Frankfurt
5) Chelsea

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 11

Time to tax those little grey cells today with five more cunning quiz questions on Day 11 of the SPAOTP Advent Calendar. As ever (ahem...), the answers will appear on tomorrow's Advent Calendar post.

Question 1:
Who, in 1963, became only the second Tottenham player ever to be sent off?

Question 2:
Which English football club was created when Yorkshire Cricket Club introduced football as a way of keeping players fit during the winter?

Question 3:
Abel Lafleur was the scuptor that designed which well-known football trophy?

Question 4:
Which German city's Forest Stadium was partially rebuilt for the 1974 World Cup?

Question 5:
Which club did former Liverpool star Craig Johnston name his daughter after?

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 9

Day 9 of SPAOTP's Advent Calendar and another chance for you to provide some headlines and captions for one of our seasonal pictures.

Today it's our old friend Santa (a.k.a. Mick McCarthy) doing away with the need for elves by ordering all his Christmas presents online, but can you provide a fitting caption to go with it?

As ever, leave us a comment and spread a little joy to the world this yuletide...

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 8

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a bit of retail therapy (actually, make that a LOT of retail therapy) so for Day 8 of our SPAOTP Advent Calendar, we're bringing you a selection of tasteful gifts that you can by direct from the online football club shop of your choice.

Of course sitting down at the table to eat copious amounts of turkey, stuffing and brussel sprouts is only half the story where Christmas Day's concerned. You need crackers, and to that end what could be better than to buy a pack of eight Arsenal crackers decorated in red shiny foil with a Gunners badge on top. We're not sure if the jokes inside are very good, but judging by the standard of the jokes Arsene Wenger puts out on the pitch every week, they should be pretty hilarious. (Sorry Graham, don't hit me...)

Christmas is all about giving, however, so why not give your Man City friends an official MCFC calendar? It'll be a great way of remembering those players who'll be largely absent during 2010 - players such as Emmanuel Adebayor (on African Nations Cup duty in January), Stephen Ireland (injured most of the time), Craig Bellamy (subject of a request to leave in the January transfer window) and Robinho (injured AND the subject of a request to leave in the January transfer window).

For fans of Man United, there's the chance to decorate their tree in style with a pack of four glass baubles - two coloured gold and two red. The red ones are particularly good as you can look at your reflection in them and see a passable resemblance of Sir Alex Ferguson. Clever stuff.

In the Hull City online shop, why not snap up a pair of flashing antlers? They run on batteries, one size fits all, and they're guaranteed to draw an enormous amount of attention to yourself - as endorsed by Phil Brown.

Portsmouth fans can emulate the goalkeeping prowess of their hero David James by purchasing these fleece gloves. They feature a Pompey club badge, are completely machine washable and are guaranteed not to grip a football if one's thrown at you.

Finally for all you Burnley supporters, there's a 2010 diary which looks the business with its large embossed club crest on the front. At £3.99, it's the ideal gift for anyone wanting to make note of all those avoidable and pointless away matches.

Know of any special Christmas gifts on sale at your club store online? Perhaps you've got a suggestion for some merchandise that should be on sale? Either way, leave us a comment and let us know...

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 7

For Day 7 of our Advent Calendar, we're going to produce a 'Friday List' with a difference.

There are two things that'll differentiate this list from the others, namely (1) it's not appearing on a Friday, and (2) it's going to be compiled largely by you (hopefully) rather than us.

Yes, today we're looking for the names of football players, teams or anything else you want to include that have a Christmas theme to them. Here's a few to start you off with, and if you think of any more, leave us a comment and tell us what they are.

So here goes...

The Christmas Club

1) Robin Van Persie
2) Roque Santa Cruz
3) Anyone that plays for Turkey

...?

(Oh, and by the way - here are the answers to yesterday's quiz questions:)

1) Everton
2) France
3) Bill Shankly
4) Goalkeeper
5) Paul Merson

SPAOTP's Advent Calendar: Day 1

'Tis the season to be jolly, some say, while others even add a frivolous 'fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la' to boot. Here at SPAOTP, we're inclined to agree, which is why this Christmas we're bringing you our very own Advent Calendar.

Each day from now until December 24th, you can find something different to amuse, educate and entertain you right up to the big day. Think of it as a virtual online advent calendar which doesn't actually have any doors to open as such but which is mildly pleasing nonetheless.

If our advent calendar did have some doors to open, however, we'd be opening the first one today so let's begin with a Caption Competition to get the (snow)ball rolling.

Simply inspect the picture below, leave us a comment with your suggested caption and sit back while the rest of the world laughs as they try to come up with something better.

And don't forget there'll be something different to get your teeth into every day on the SPAOTP Advent Calendar, so be sure to check back regularly to get your fill...

The 12 Graphs of Christmas: Day 12

# "On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...

...A chart that uses mince pies to show how well World Cup winning teams did in their first match after winning the World Cup." #



And that completes our Twelve Graphs of Christmas series. We hope you've enjoyed it and that you enjoy your Christmas holiday even more so. From all of us at Some People Are On The Pitch, have fun, enjoy yourselves but above all, be peaceful to one another. See you on the other side...

The 12 Graphs of Christmas: Day 11

# "On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...

...A chart showing the number of times certain swear words were mentioned by Joe Kinnear in his first press conference as manager of Newcastle United." #

The 12 Graphs of Christmas: Day 10

# "On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...

...A graph showing the six lowest points totals for teams finishing bottom of the Premier League during the last ten seasons." #

The 12 Graphs of Christmas: Day 9

# "On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...

...A graph showing Spain's position in the FIFA World Rankings between January 2007 and the present day." #