Written by Kedge
So what was going on at the weekend in the Premiership? That's the question on everyone's lips. Well I can reveal all. Having done a little bit of snooping around (you know the kind of things I mean - looking in dustbins, reading the Sport on Sunday, talking to the odd looney and if all else fails, making it up) it seems that Jermaine Defore has suddenly realised that he has as much charisma as Steve Davis or the guy in the Mr Muscle ads.
In order to do something about it, he (apparently) is looking for a suitable nickname. After all, the sporting world is full of guys with catchy names:
Phil "The Power" Taylor
Steve "Interesting" Davis (OK, so that doesn’t really work)
Norman "Bites yer Legs" Hunter
Ron "Chopper" Harris
David "Butter Fingers" James (maybe another not-so-good example)
Arsene "I didn't see it" Wenger
David "Bender" Beckham (sorry, that should have read "Bend It")
Stuart "Psycho" Pearce
Ben "Forearm Smash" Thatcher
So now I can introduce to you...
The one...
The only...
The amazing...
Jermaine "Nibbles yer Nipples" Defoe.
Matin Jol said he wants to see his players 'Hungry', but I thought he meant for goals.
ReplyDeleteSo Defoe likes the taste of Corned Beef, so what?
And Javier HeyMascheranoAlright says
"To receive a bite was the worst thing that has happened to me since I came to England,"
What, even worse than signing for West Ham? I very much doubt it...
Even worse than spending a Sunday afternoon playing against Spurs, I expect...
ReplyDeleteEspecially when you get booked, taken off after 70 minutes, and are on the losing side.
ReplyDeleteOh and by the way Kedge, after listening to the chants from the away support on Sunday afternoon, you might want to have a chat to a West Ham fan.
ReplyDeleteThey seemed to have quite a few 'nicknames' for Defoe already!
Good God! I don't want spoil it by bring realism into it.
ReplyDelete