Saturday 21st November
11:00 Rubin Kazan v Zenith St Petersburg, Russian Premier Liga, ESPN
What better way to return to club football than by watching a potential domestic title decider? Yep, it's starting to get a bit parky in Russia and this is the penultimate round of the season. Rubin require a win against third placed Zenit to put the Championship beyond Spartak and claim their second successive crown.
12:45 Liverpool v Manchester City, Barclays Premier League, Sky Sports 1/HD1
And once the action in the Motherland is over, switch over to Google Botherers Sports 1 who are interrupting their usual schedule of pro-video evidence propaganda for a football match. And it's a huge match in terms of the fight to finish in that final Champions League spot. City may not have lost in seven matches but they've drawn their last five and the pressure is on Mark Hughes. Liverpool are there for the taking too.
17:20 Ipswich Town v Sheffield Wednesday, Championship, Sky Sports 1/HD1
Two teams whose respective clubs have money in the bank but are having trouble getting to grips with this most fractious of leagues. Roy Keane may win the Most Murderous Stare Competition but is having trouble winning football matches. Don't tell him I said that though as he's bigger than me.
17:30 Manchester Utd v Everton, Barclays Premier League, ESPN/HD
Thought I'd double-check the head-to-head on these two in recent years and I was right. United pretty much own this fixture. The last time Everton took so much as a point at Old Trafford was in 2004. However, The Toffees did beat United at Wembley the last time they met so perhaps... Nah who am I kidding? Worth watching if your a supporter otherwise go ahead and watch something else. The Dortmund v Mainz game will be somewhere on the Internets.
18:55 Real Madrid v Racing Santander, La Liga, Sky Sports 2/HD2
Second meets fourth from bottom. Expect a home win and a lot of wank about Cristiano Ronaldo.
19:45 Fiorentina v Parma, Serie A, ESPN
La Viola can overhaul Juventus with a win but have a massive game against Lyon during the week. They'll be grateful af the extra day's preparation, no doubt.
21:00 Athletic Bilbao v Barcelona, La Liga, Sky Sports 2/HD2
This is a bit more like it. A lively atmosphere is in store for the visit of the winners of everything last season. Bilbao are in eighth and Barca have the Champions League on their minds.
Sunday 22nd November
12:30 Dundee Utd v Celtic, Scottish Premier League, ESPN/HD
We keep hearing that the financial constraints of Rangers and Celtic are making Scottish football interesting. Yet a quick glance at the table reveals that the Old Firm are still at the top. It would be great if the home supporters unfurled a huge banner before the match saying "Don't forget, you're here forever."
13:30 Bolton Wanderers v Blackburn Rovers, Barclays Premier League, Sky Sports 1/HD1
Definitely falls into the 'Not Quite As Dull As It Looks' category. A rip-snorting local derby featuring Allardyce versus a re-imagined version of Allardyce. Sort of like Escape From New York v Escape From LA. Which team will be New York? Watch and find out.
16:00 Stoke City v Portsmouth, Barclays Premier League, Sky Sports 1/HD1
Another deceptively intriguing match. Both teams have bags of commitment and the away side will try to take it to Stoke for fear of being bullied. Having said that, if Stoke play with the sort of ambition they lacked at Hull two weekends ago this could be a walk over. Be interesting to see if Tuncay makes an appearance.
16:30 Hamburg v Bochum, Bundesliga, ESPN
Both teams are pretty awful. Hamburg's injury problems are hampering their progress while Bochum's lack of good players is sending them down with the Hertha.
17:55 Malaga v Zaragoza, La Liga, Sky Sports 2/HD2
Jermaine Does Malaga sounds like a Seventies soft porn movie but is in fact a football match. I'll leave you to decide which you'd rather watch.
19:45 Juventus v Udinese, Serie A, ESPN
Assuming Fiorentina take the points on Saturday, Juve will need to win this one to regain second spot. Udinese are looking at a fairly meaningless season.
01:30 (Monday morning) LA Galaxy v Real Salt Lake, MLS Cup Final, ESPN
The final game of the Major League Soccer ends in a grand final. Say what you like about the quality and interest of football in the US but all tickets are sold and an a lively atmosphere awaits the teams at Seattle's Qwest Field. The Galaxy are a poor side being carried by the excellent Landon Donovan and David Beckham. Real Salt Lake are a more solid if unspectacular unit who, much like New York last year, are surprise entrants in the Final. Unlike NY, they're a better team and the outcome of this match is not nailed on by any means. You'll be able to read all about this match in Chris Nee's excellent Football Americana on this very website.