Saturday 8th May
12:30 Kilmarnock v Falkirk, Scottish Premier League, Sky Sports 3/HD3
Blimus! It turns out that this is a relegation shoot-out. Falkirk are bottom and need to beat Killie to overhaul their opponents in their stead. Just like Wednesday v Palace last week. Should be a nerve shredder.
12:45 Blackpool v Nottingham Forest, Championship Play-Off Semi-Final 1st leg, Sky Sports 1/HD1
The play-off, post-season bonanza gets underway with a trip to the seaside. The Tangerines are late entrants into the play-off picture which makes them a good outside bet spend next season getting mercilessly shoed in the Premier League. Having said that, Forest boss Billy Davies' is experienced in these matters and will be setting his team up for a solid 1-0 win.
14:30 Hertha Berlin v Bayern Munich, Bundesliga, ESPN
Yes indeed folks, live league football on a Saturday afternoon. Now we get to know how international fans feel. The action will be focused on the crowning of Champions elect Bayern Munich in the capital. However, ESPN have promised to keep us informed with all the doings up and down the league. Look out for Bremen v Hamburg, 'Gladbach v Leverkusen and Freiburg v Dortmund where the European places will be decided. At the bottom, Bochum v Hannover promises to be the six pointer (sechs punkter) to end them all.
15:00 Barrow AFC v Stevenage Borough, FA Trophy Final, ITV4
ITV4 is an odd channel. They seem to be hell bent on picking up random sporting events to slot in between repeats of The Sweeney and World's Funniest Drunk Drivers. Like the IPL, for instance. I mean cricket, on ITV, quite absurd! And now they've picked up a non league match, no doubt for an absolute song. Mind you, if the coverage is fronted by Mandira Bedi, the Bollywood actress with the big eyes who anchored the IPL then it may be worth tuning in to. Am I right fellas? Woof!
20:00 Sevilla v Barcelona, La Liga, Sky Sports 4/HD4
The penultimate round of the Lager Liga season. Barca need to keep winning in order to fend off Real Madrid, while Sevilla need to do like wise to maintain their Champions League spot.
Sunday 9th May
13:15 Leicester City v Cardiff City, Championship Play-Off, Semi-Final 1st Leg, Sky Sports 1/HD1
Cardiff launch their bid to become the first Welsh team to play in the Premier League against a handy Leicester team who, themselves, were playing in League 1 last season.
13:30 Rangers v Motherwell, Scottish Premier League, Sky Sports 3/HD3
The Rangers players are measuring up their Hawaiian shirts, their manager is using his office waste paper bin for a basketball hoop and Motherwell are on a mission to qualify for the Europa League. Despite this, I wouldn't bet against a home win.
13:30 Hearts v Celtic, Scottish Premier League, ESPN/HD
Neither team are going anywhere. Nothing to see here.
16:00 Chelsea v Wigan Athletic, Barclays Premier League, Sky Sports 1/HD1
It's time! The wait is over! Judgement Day is upon us! Can the Blues of London fight of the Devil's breath and clinch the coveted Premier League Trophy. Or will the brave underdogs of Wigan overcome the odds to wrestle away the baton of fate and hand it to the men from Manchester?
16:00 Manchester United v Stoke City, Barclays Premier League, Sky Sports 3/HD3
16:00 Burnley v Tottenham Hotspur, Barclays Premier League, ESPN/HD
Meanwhile, the Mouse is stuck with this zombiefied rubber. An away win may put Spurs in third if Arsenal lose. But that would require the Tottenham players bringing themselves back to Earth for 90 minutes following their ludicrous, league winning style, celebrations after finishing fourth and winning the right to get knocked out by Lyon in a Champions League qualifier this August.
18:55 Benfica v Rio Ave, Portuguese League, ESPN
With no Lager Liga to see out the weekend, relax instead by watching Benfica win the title. They only need a point.
All Serie A matches are scheduled for 2pm on Sunday. At the time of writing, ESPN had not announced their broadcasting plans.