Friday 11th December
19:30 Hertha Berlin v Leverkusen, Bundesliga, ESPN
Not sure why the Bundesliga keep scheduling Hertha games for their TV matches. They're awful. Perhaps they are getting the Berliners out of the way so they can allow them to be relegated in peace. Leverkusen are top but have been dropping points. All of which makes up for a dour 1-0 away win. Not even I'm bothering with this one.
Saturday 12th December
12:45 Stoke City v Wigan Athletic, Barclays Premier League, Sky Sports 1/HD1
As if Roberto Martinez didn't have enough problems, he now has to cope with the mental image of Tony Pulis naked in the showers when they shake hands before the game.
12:45 Motherwell v Celtic, Scottish Premier League, Sky Sports 3/HD3
"Where abouts in Scotland are you from?" I enquired. "Glasgow!" he replied. "Oh right so are you Rangers or Celtic?" I asked. "Motherwell" he said. I was sat next to him all bloody evening.
17:15 Manchester United v Aston Villa, Barclay's Premier League, ESPN/HD
Much like Man United v Everton, the only reason why broadcasters persist with this fixture has to be because of their large international fan base. This is one of the most one-sided match-ups in the history of the Premier League. Having said that, United don't seem to have much of a defence so a first win for Villa at Old Trafford since 1983 may well be on the... oh who am I kidding?
19:15 Barcelona v Espanyol, La Liga, Sky Sports 3/HD3
Espanyol have lost their last four games and will surely make it a fifth against their cross-city rivals.
19:45 Bari v Juventus, Serie A, ESPN
After suffering the humiliation of losing to one of the worst Bayern Munich teams in a generation while getting knocked out of the Champions League and saving Louis van Gaal's job in the process, the Old Lady must trapse over to Bari in a futile attempt to make amends.
21:00 Valencia v Real Madrid, La Liga, Sky Sports 3/HD3
Second meets third. Some of the best players in the world on display. What's not to like?
Sunday 13th December
13:15 Middlesbrough v Cardiff City, Championship, Sky Sports 1/HD1
Gareth Southgate is a football genius!
14:30 Atalanta v Inter Milan, Serie A, ESPN
The press are full of stories that Jose is going to get a special one in the post from his employers. So expect lots of close-ups of the Inter bench during this nervous 1-0 win for the champions.
16:00 Liverpool v Arsenal, Barclays Premier League, Sky Sports 1/HD1
The big one. 4-4 last time out. This time, who knows? However, with the prospect of Eduardo and Gerrard playing, expect plenty of theatrics in the box.
17:00 Wolfsburg v Dortmund, Bundesliga, ESPN
A decent alternative to the Best League In The World on offer from Sky. Dortmund are shaking off their early season poor form and are unbeaten in eight Bundesliga games. Wolfsburg are going backwards and will be miffed to have failed to take their chances against United on Wednesday.
19:00 Atletico Madrid v Villarreal, La Liga, Sky Sports 1/HD1
Both teams are in much better form and have their collective eyes set on a European spot later in the season. Bags of interest for La Liga aficionados of which, you may have gathered, I am not one.
20:00 Sporting v Sevilla, La Liga, Sky Sports 1/HD1
Er... yes well.
19:45 Sampdoria v AS Roma, Serie A, ESPN
Buoyed after their hoedown with Lazio, Roma travel to Genoa and the two teams are separated by goal difference.